How to Improve Yourself: Small Shifts That Create Lasting Change

I used to believe that change, like actual self-improve change, had to come in these huge sweeping motions. Every school year I would decide this was the year I was going to be this greatly improved version of me - dress better, get better grades, be a better friend. And every year I would fall back into the same habits and routines (very quickly) and leave the girl I wanted to be behind - subconsciously believing that I had wait for the next 'big moment' to change. It took me decades to learn that small shifts in my habits - physical, emotional, and mental - was the key to reinventing myself.

When I look back on my journey I can easily see the shifts that made the greatest impact and I am going to share those today in this blog so you can learn from my years of self-improvement.

What is self-improvement?

According to good 'ole Google, "self-improvement is the process of enhancing one's character, skills, knowledge, and well-being through conscious effort."

Which means, it can be truly whatever you want it to be when it comes to being and feeling like a better version of yourself.

Like I shared above, when I was in school I desperately wanted to get good grades and feel smart. While I am not going to get into details in this post, sometime around the 1st grade I experienced some heavy trauma in childhood and it was the first block in my 'be the most successful version of me in school' Cecilia.

I didn't know it at the time but these moments of time created a bit of a hiccup in my brain that carried over to not feeling confident and smart in school. In order to hide some of the memories of what happened, I spent a lot of my time in school daydreaming and not paying attention. I have always been wicked smart but I wasn't able to see it through the fog of what my little mind was trying to protect me from.

I also didn't have the skills or the maturity to know how to break the cycles so I could be the person I wanted to be. But I knew, even as a young child, that I had areas I wanted to improve in.

This is just part of living - continuous improvement of ourselves.

Whether it is in the grades you get, how fast you run a mile, how great your sourdough turns out, the feedback you get on that presentation at work....we are all looking to become better in some area of life. Any and all of this 'counts' as self-improvement.

How can I begin to improve myself?

It starts with becoming aware that you want to change something. This could begin with a small nagging feeling or something blowing up in your face so you realize that something has to change.

I used to feel like I was always behind and running just a touch late. It was creating this feeling of low level anxiety and stress in my body. For example, I was always rushing to get my hair dry and make up on so I could leave the house on time. I was always trying to figure out dinner last minute and trying to get something defrosted. I was always trying to get caught up on dishes so I wouldn't have a sink starting to fill up as the dishwasher was running. It was constant and it was very overwhelming.

My awareness of needing to change came from this nagging feeling that this is too much and I am not enjoying myself because I am always behind. I became aware of the need to change something so my mental wellbeing would improve.

This was the start of creating the process I follow, and share with clients, for any self-improvement - reclaiming your P.O.W.E.R.

The P stands for Perception, which is defined as the state of being or process of becoming aware of something through the senses. This is where we all begin - perceiving the need for some sort of change or the desire to improve.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - Carl Jung

Begin by deciding one area you'd like to start with: spiritual, physical, emotional, social, or mental.

Special note: start with only one so you can slowly make changes. Our brain is a remarkable thing but its job is to keep us alive. And it is wired to prefer we keep things as we know them now, not go around making all these huge changes. To the brain, what we have been doing up to today has kept us alive and it would rather stay right where we are thank you very much. By starting small and in one area you are better set up to make sustainable changes that you can build on and not quickly revert back to the habits and behaviors you already know.

By Bradley Pisney

So now what?

Now that you know the area you want to improve yourself, and you can find a list of ideas below, it is time to pick what new habit you will add to your day.

Also, I want you to add to your life instead of taking away.

For example, I can add a serving of vegetables to my dinner plate vs. saying I will stop having an ice cream in the evening. Or, if I know I wake up and immediately grab my phone and scroll for an hour, I can replace this with something else I enjoy like reading a book or getting up and immediately brushing my teeth.

This is best done by changing something in your environment that will serve as a trigger to your brain that you are doing something different now. You can add a sticky note to your fridge reminding you to make a vegetable with dinner or charge your phone somewhere else so you don't grab it first thing.

Below are some ideas to get started - of course, pick what makes sense for you or come up with something of your own.

How do I improve spiritually?

• Begin a mediation practice: please know that mediation does not mean you have no thoughts - your mind will wander, that is perfectly normal and more than ok! Start by setting a timer for 3-6 minutes to start and breath in deeply through your nose and slowly out your mouth. Put your awareness and focus on your breathing, feel the breath enter your nose, feel it exit your mouth. Every time you notice your mind is wandering, just bring it back to your breath.

• Explore beliefs: What do you believe when it comes to the universe, this world, and religion? Spend time each day reading, learning, and journaling your personal beliefs.

• Grab a devotional: Find a daily devotional app or journal that you can read a passage from the Bible each day and reflect on your personal views. The Bible can be your guide to beliefs by questioning what you have been taught and instead asking what you think the stories mean.

How do I improve physically?

• Get outside: even if all you do is sit outside for 15 minutes to start, you will be doing something shockingly life changing for yourself. And please, leave the phone inside - you can read a book or just sit and enjoy the day.

• Take a walk: create a time during your day you will take a walk. You can start small - 10 minutes even. Bonus points if you walk outside but anywhere is good!

• Movement breaks: if you are like me then you sit a lot during the day. A great way to get some extra movement in is to set an alarm in your phone and every 60-90 minutes get up and do something like 15 squats, walk up and down the stairs 4 times, do some jumping jacks, or have a mini-dance party by your desk.

How do I improve emotionally?

• Connect with animals: did you know you can often find farms near you that you can go visit with animals? I swear they are so good for the soul and can do wonders for your emotional self-improvement. You can also volunteer at your local shelter or spend more time with the animal you have at home.

• Improve your emotional regulation: we do not control what we feel but we do control what we do with it. Here is a guide to get started.

How do I improve socially?

• Connect with others: create a time to call a friend or family member - not a text but a phone call.

• Improve your confidence: confidence is created so if you don't have it now, do not fear, you can create it. Here is a guide to get started.

How can I improve mentally?

• Start learning: find a podcast on a topic that interests you, I love history podcasts personally. Get to your local library and grab a book that interests you - it can be on anything.

• Work on a skill: you can use an app to learn a new language or take a wood working course - there is so much available to you. In Colorado I know the state parks offer free classes in things like fishing and archery, you can check if yours do too.

• Read: reading fiction is also amazing, pick up a book - even you start with one page a day.

Your starter guide to improving yourself

There you have it, your starter guide to self-improvement. Some of these may seem small but starting small is truly how you create lasting change.

Make sure to check back for more upcoming posts how to improve your life and reclaim your P.O.W.E.R.