How to Change Your Self-Concept: Reclaim Your Personal Power Through Perception and Ownership

In my last blog post, I spoke about how surprisingly small shifts end up making the biggest changes in your life - especially when it comes to changing your self-concept. I remember that I used to always want to make these huge changes overnight and would quickly burn myself out and fall right back into my old behaviors and habits.

And science confirms that this was inevitable. Maybe you have found yourself in the same position -wanting something to change, being totally aware that you desire something more for yourself but not knowing how to get it. The very thought of starting can feel like just another damn thing to add to your ever growing to-do list.

Clearly, I have been there. Trust me when I say you are not alone and believe me when I say you can design a life you love without this massive (and overwhelming) effort to do it.

There are enjoyable, practical, and manageable ways to improve your life, your wellbeing, and your outlook on yourself.

Reclaim Your Power

First, let me tell you - you are a powerful being. You have amazing gifts and talents. You are capable. You seriously can create a life you love living. And you may not believe it now but your current circumstances do not dictate your future potential.

How do I know this? Because I did it for myself and then shared it with many others who have made such positive and sustainable changes to their own lives that I knew I really needed to share this with others.

How Your Perception Shapes Your Self-Concept

Recently I spoke about the P.O.W.E.R framework, which is truly an outlined process that has been created using the core areas for personal self-development. And it begins with the P - your perception.

“Humans see what they want to see.”

Rick Riordan,The Lightning Thief

You assign the meaning to the experiences you have. This is how your self-concept is formed - through the beliefs you've absorbed from your life experiences, what your parents taught you, and the culture you grew up in. It is kinda like how in the Little Mermaid Ariel used a fork to brush her hair - she had never been conditioned to know the fork was for eating because it had never been introduced to her awareness, so she was open to the influence of someone she trusted.

We are conditioned by our life experiences, what our parents taught us, and the culture we grew up in - don't forget that you are absorbing beliefs, ideas, and other peoples thoughts all day long. Why do you think I (and others!) recommend you get away from your phone more? The content you watch is being taken in by you even if you don't realize it.

Photo by Erica Marsland Huynh

Unless you consciously focus on your beliefs, your focus, and decide on your intentions for the day - the external world will decide it for you.

Now, you can do only do this if you are first aware of where your focus is and your focus is your intention - when you allow yourself to focus on everything wrong in your life or make self-depercating jokes about how you are always tired, a hot mess, will never get your life together, etc. that is what you are intending to receive in your life.

Read more about starting the process of being aware in this blog post.

Taking Ownership of Your Self-Concept

I want to begin by making it clear that taking ownership of where you are now and where you are going does not mean you need to beat yourself up or even be upset with yourself. Instead remind yourself that you are learning and unlearning - that this is the moment you see yourself with compassion and love, even if you don't quite feel it yet.

And an exercise that will help is imagine the person, or pet, you love so much. Now imagine them making a mistake or talking poorly about themselves. Would you chastise them for this? I would hope not, you would tell them it's all good - today is a new day and we all have the opportunity to improve. Give yourself this same grace. You deserve it.

The reason the 'O' in our P.O.W.E.R framework is even there is because taking ownership of where you are now, stopping the blame on everything external from you, and accepting that you do have the power to make change in your own life is essential to building self-confidence, self-love, and a positive self-concept.

Ownership also means you are now going to take back the personal power over your choices, your habits, and the life you leading. You have the power over the way you talk to yourself, how you spend your days, what content you consume, and the boundaries you hold.

This shift from allowing life to just happen to you to taking ownership over you the way you live is remarkably empowering.

And one of the best places to begin shifting your daily habits to make positive changes in your life is by creating a morning routine for success. The seemingly simple act of spending the first hour of your day off your phone and instead replacing your scrolling habit with reading, a gratitude practice, some movement, and/or breathing exercises can create a massive cascade in your mental wellbeing, focus, and productivity during your day.

Here's a visual breakdown of how Perception and Ownership work together to shift your self-concept:

Manage Your Moods, Change Your Life

One of the first steps to reclaiming your personal power is by learning how to regulate your emotional reactions. Now, let me tell you, we do not control our knee jerk reactions but do control what we do with them.

This blog post isn't going deep into this topic but you can check out my course that teaches you how to Manage Your Moods. as well as follow me on social media channels where I share tons of tips to begin your journey to emotional regulation.

When you master your moods, everything else gets easier - your mindset, your habits, your confidence, your energy.

Cecilia on stage sharing her pivot from frustrated to empowered